“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in service to others.”

I started coaching rowing in 2005. I was a recent college grad when I took on the role as the novice men’s coach at St. Ignatius.  I knew little to nothing about coaching, non-profits, or cancer. I had no idea that these three things would be the main ingredients for the recipe that I now call my life’s passion.

Press fast forward: seven years later I am the Executive Director and Head Coach of Recovery on Water, a rowing team for breast cancer survivors. Coaching, non-profits, and cancer: one passion led to the other. It started with coaching at Ignatius. I had been in love with the sport, but coaching really threw me into the deep end. The success I found in rowing and in coaching were addictive and gave me confidence in going after life. Rowing taught me who I was, who I wasn’t and who I wanted to be–and sharing it came natural. It’s all I ever wanted to do from the moment I started doing it.

I learned about the relationship between cancer and exercise in college, specifically that exercise could reduce cancer recurrence in breast cancer survivors by 50%.  I volunteered with a group of survivors at Michigan State and discovered the amazing tool that rowing and exercise could be for women recovering from the disease and subsequent treatments.  I saw women grow from victims who lost all faith in their bodies to athletes who were contributing and become an active (literally) part of their recovery plan. When I moved to Chicago I talked about starting a group for survivors for at least a year before I really ever “did” anything about it.  I threw the idea around with my friends and then later in serious conversations with the Ignatius board. I asked for their support in getting a program started and then began attending survivor support group meetings to get an idea of who might join my new-found team.  I found overwhelming amounts of support from Ignatius and the breast cancer community. The affirmation of their support rooted my belief in all that ROW could be; and so, as they say, the rest is history.

Recovery on Water (ROW) now serves over 40 women from all over the Chicago and the surrounding suburbs, bringing in survivors in their thirties to their sixties, former marathon runners to former couch potatoes.  The team holds four practices a week and rows on the Chicago River, races four times a year and trains indoors year round. The women are an inspiring source of strength and support for each other, for us as coaches, and to the breast cancer community as a whole.  They have taken their experience with cancer as an opportunity to renew their identity, from victim to athlete.  The relationship they have with their bodies has changed, which radiates into and improves every area of their lives.

While ROW has thrived as a resource for survivors, the road to where we are now hasn’t always been roses and sunshine. Helping ROW grow from a tiny non-profit with three board members to a stable, functional charity receiving grants has and continues to be a learning experience. Each non-profit is so unique there isn’t a roadmap set on how to raise funds for a cause, or how to get people behind your organization as advocates for what you feel is the most worthy cause on earth. Starting a new non-profit in the midst of a recession was also less than ideal. In January of 2009 I drafted together a minimal budget and asked the company I was working for to sponsor our start up fees. I remember the day we got the check for $3,000 (why didn’t I ask for more?). I was on cloud nine, ready to kick cancer’s ass as far as my three G’s would take me.  From there we grew into a program and organization that was and is now sustained by various pools of funding, from events to grants and bigger campaigns for equipment. Over the last three years our board has learned what our fundraising strengths and weaknesses are and reached out to learn from similar organizations.

So as soon as ROW was on its feet I decided to throw in something a little crazy. Something that would allow me to give to ROW in a new way. Something that required the acceptance of risk taking on many levels. Something that would require the organization to spend money to make money, get behind an effort and take a leap.

In 2010 I made the decision to take on a personal and  physical challenge that would raise funds and awareness for the organization named “Row4ROW”. We bought an ocean-going, long-distance rowing boat named Liv, and this summer I plan to row the entire 1,500 mile perimeter of Lake Michigan. My goal is to spread awareness of the valuable tool that exercise can be for survivors, and to share stories of the ROW team, giving the Midwest some inspiration to bring the fight against cancer into their own hands.  I’ll be rowing for over two months, consuming 5,000 calories a day, rowing my heart out and aiming to raise over $150,000 for the ROW team to buy boats and equipment to expand our programs. 18 months later we’ve raised over $40,000 for the organization, and the trip hasn’t even started yet. We have a committed team of experts leading every venue of this effort, from fundraising to safety at sea.

When we decided to buy Liv, I didn’t have a dime in my pocket. Neither did ROW.  I knew that taking on this challenge would involve risk, but I don’t think a lot of people realize that the risks weren’t just my safety in a 19-foot boat in bad weather. When I brought the idea of Row4ROW to the ROW board they had as many questions as they did notions of support. We knew that my enthusiasm as a coach and leader was a strength but we wanted to be smart about it. It was a combination of looking at the cards in our hand and taking some risk.

Everyone knows that it takes money to make money, but I don’t know that people always associate that with non-profits. My advice? Run your non-profit like a for-profit.  Understand that sometimes extreme efforts and big risks are necessary to make a big impact. Sometimes you have to buy a big-ass boat and make yourself vulnerable to all the people who are going to tell you that the word “impossible” exists. Yes, there are going to be hiccups. Yes, there are going to be setbacks. Yes, people are donating and you should be smart about it. If you build an organization and surround it with people who genuinely care about a cause you’ll come up with solutions that fit. Know that you have to give to get, and stay enthusiastic when times get rough or people tell you “no”. The road to $40,000 has not been full of thousands of people telling me “yes”, but I stay enthusiastic and positive because I believe in this cause and this effort.

To learn more about ROW and follow my trip please visit www.row4row.org. To help us in our campaign to raise $10,000 in ten days (before Feb 1), please visit: http://www.firstgiving.com/fundraiser/row4row/row4row

Over the last few weeks-the phrase “how bad do you want it?” has been bright in my mind. When you think about it , every outcome (good or bad) is based on how honestly you can answer this for yourself. How bad do you want it?

How badly do you want to change your life, your lifestyle, your health, your body, how you spend your time, who you spend your time with, the way you treat people, your relationships, your reality?

If you want to change something about yourself, MORE than you want to be lazy, or in denial, or distracted into something that deters you from what you claim you “want”-well, you will.  And if you fail-it’s very simple: you wanted the failed outcome more.

And it’s not these huge, overwhelming, giant decisions and changes that make the difference and steer you on to one course or in one direction. How badly do you want something every single day, that you’re willing to work towards it on a good day, a bad day-one the worst of days. You still have to want what you claim to “want” more. It always has to trump your weakness, your insecurity, your other wants.

Here’s an example: Friday the 13th and I got off to a bad start.  While leaving for work, I got a block away from my apartment and I was hit by a drunk driver. I was lucky to be on ice (and on a street with no parked cars)-because the impact made my car spin out of control-but then into a curb. A few bruises, a deep cut through my chest from my seat belt, and a few scratches on my car. My body, my car-they will repair and recover. It was a whirlwind of a day, full of emotions and adrenaline. I could have told myself that it would be pointless to train last night-that I deserved a night off. I didn’t want to go-but I’m glad I did.  The anger I had towards the idiot who decided to drink and drive? I pressed it out at Crossfit through my dead lifts, hand power cleans and push press. Yoga practice reminded me to thankful for what didn’t happen. I was safe, I was alive, my body was in one piece I got to bring it to my mat last night.

After a long day and two long workouts- how badly did I want to eat pizza and drink beer with my girlfriends at the bar? Pretty bad! I could have convinced myself, “Well Jenn, you had a rough day. You still went to yoga, you went to the Crossfit. You deserve that beer. You deserve that pizza”. I wanted to make that choice pretty badly. But not as badly as I want to be healthy, prepared, conscious and considerate of what I’m putting into my body as fuel. Not as badly as I want to kick cancer’s ass on the Lake this summer. I want that more.  That’s how badly I want it. I wanted it so badly that I ordered a salad with seared tuna (with no cheese and no creamy dressing) and drank water. And I still had fun! And I walked home from the bar and I felt good about that choice. I’ve slipped up on this journey-I have not been perfect. I’m not (I repeat), I am not a super hero. I know what it’s like to live with the bad choice. You feel like crap. And maybe that’s why this choice felt so victorious. It was the one thing I truly wanted more than anything else-and my actions were the evidence.

I got home and decided it was something to celebrate-so I treated myself to an episode of Law & Order on the couch with my dog (a Jenn Gibbons approved exciting Friday night).

So, how bad do you want it?

It’s not just about living healthy or going after a fitness goal. By being conscious of yourself and how you treat yourself-it’s likely you’ll find ways to treat the people in your life a little bit better too.

So figure out who you want to be-and make the conscious decision to be that person every day. 

You are the only you that you will ever get. What you decide to do with you is up to you. Tomorrow you will still be you. The question is whether you will move closer today to who you want to be.

I did it! I started Paleo one week ago (December 29), and I feel great.

Here’s some random thoughts (because, well, that’s how my brain works):